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Which, to my young mind, were two very different things.
I don’t think I even associated the two directly until I was around ten.

I vaguely remember asking my mother who Jesus was and being told that he was a good man who tried to help people, but they didn’t listen.
That he tried to tell them to believe in god, not make him a god.

And that, coupled with the fact that all of the Christians I was aware of knowing at the time were complete twats, made me hate Christianity and the fact that most people could not separate Man from Religion.

He was the only part of the Bible I was interested in for ages, because while he was critical to the religion, he was himself. Separated from the myth and the hype, he could still be seen as a being of basic love

And it hurt me to know that he was killed because of that.
Which is probably what my mistrust of humankind was rooted in.

That someone could mean so well and yet still be hated and abused tainted my perception of a religion which was built around this man’s pain. The torture of his death and the centuries, the millenia of wars and hate that followed, taken in his name.

And what’s more, it made me angry that so many of the adults I heard talking about Christianity(That already vile-to-my-ears term) put it across as Jesus trying to convert the Jews to Christianity, something that didn’t seem right, because I knew that he had been a Jew, and that Christianity formed after his death.

A message of passion and love did not need to convert anyone from their religion, but simplify it, and feed that love of god and magnify it to new heights.

The ‘Conversion’ made no sense to me as God was God and so all I saw him as doing was trying to guide them back to the god that they all knew but had strayed from.

I’ve traded in my hatred of religion for a general dislike of the organized stuff and like to think of myself as much more accepting now-
But it still doesn’t make sense to me, how something that should unify can and is used to rip people apart…